I Shall Be Brave (One Direction Louis fanfic)
by xxxForbiddenLovexxx
Summary: Being louis Tomlinson...
1. Chapter 1

The Miami sun boar through the crack in the curtains. Feeling its heat radiate on my arm..my eyes flicker open. I take a moment to adjust to the light and sigh. God I missed the UK.. Sure it rained like hell and we were lucky if we had a warm summer but its days like today I miss the clouds.

The alarm on my phone buzzes as if to shake me out of my home-sickness. The warm body laying next to mine then starts to stir "everything ok?" came a husky mumble.

"fine" I replied sighing, I walked to the hotel bathroom.. Dragging my bare feet across the floor I reach the sink and turned on the tap. I looked into the mirror.. Bed head clearly evident.. I run my fingers through it in a failed attempt to somehow tame it a little.

Leaning over the sink I run the cold water through my cupped hands.. Then splash it over my face.. Instantly feeling it cool and refresh my hot skin. Grabbing a hand towel from the rail I bury my face in it. Holding it there longer than needed be..soaking up the dampness.

I heard a phone vibrating in the bedroom. Followed by the indistinct sound of the husky voice I know and love speaking to the caller. Lowering the towel down from my face I look at myself in the mirror again..changing my facial expression to strong and confident..yet clearly void on the emotional front.' I can do this!' I mentally shouted at myself 'you're Louis fucking Tomlinson and this is for the best right now, best for the band, best for the fans, best for the lads, best for you… best for Harry!' at that moment he walked into the bathroom.. I had to catch my breath a little at his perfect topless form...letting them linger as they wondered upwards. When my eyes reached his face the confident and cocky front I had just perfected washed off me.. He looked sad, almost defeated. My heart sank. His eyes met mine, he didn't even have to say a word, not one damn word. I knew. "Eleanor's flight's landed" he confirmed.

*authors note* thanks for reading *hugs* please review if you would like more.. or just tell me what you think (i'd LOVE to hear your opinions) :) i wrote this lastnight just as a oneshot but i may consider writng more :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I stared at the breakfast that had been placed in front of me in the dimly lit corner of the hotel restaurant. You'd think I'd be pleased at some down time.. I'm loving the tour but its nice to get a day off to what I pleased. Yet today is another work day only instead of playing a concert to a crowd of adoring fans I was playing the role of a loving and supportive boyfriend. Simple right? - if only.

Managements eyes burned into me from across the table. "so were thinking shopping and dinner maybe?" I shrugged at how predictable that sounded "sure" I replied rolling my eyes as I took as sip of the barely warm tea in front of me. "here she is.." management announced and scurried to shake Eleanor's hand as she approached our table. "did you have a nice flight?" one of them asked her.. Most likely out of politeness rather than genuine concern… I mean she was getting a pay check from them after all.. Do they really care about anyone's well being?.

I stood up and hugged her.. She kissed my cheek smiling then continued her conversation with our managers. I zoned out.. Thinking about what Harry was doing and how he was feeling. How I wished I could have stayed with him this morning. I took my phone out of my pocket and opened a new message I typed.. "cold tea - this day sucks already. Miss u xx" I hit send and hoped it would at least make him smile a little.. He had looked so wounded when I left.

I snapped back into the reality of my surroundings.. Clearly management had finished briefing Eleanor as they gave me a nod and left the restaurant. Eleanor sat down opposite me.. Removing her over-sized sunglasses in the process, we remained silent for a few seconds whilst a waitress appeared with some coffee for her. "how's the tour going?" she asked casually. "good" I replied.. Realizing that it was quite an abrupt answer I tried to add more.. "its tiring but the atmosphere is great" - that's better I thought. She smiled in response then turned her head round to where she must have caught a glimpse of her reflection in the restaurant window.. She adjusted her hair. I looked down at myself.. I hadn't really given much concern to my appearance this morning.. I knew we would be getting papped today.. I mean that was the fucking point of this damn thing… but I was tired.

I wish I could say it was just in the physical sense but this whole façade was draining me emotionally. I am tired of lying… I am tired of being told this is for the best right now.. I am tired of it hurting Harry.. I am tired of having to hide who I am… "ready to go? The drivers outside" Eleanor pulled me out of my mental breakdown.. I stood up and put on my shades and jacket. I held out my hand for her to hold.. "you ok?" she asked grasping my hand "it is what it is" I replied and walked out of the restaurant with her.

*Authors note* I don't know if anyone is reading this fan fiction.. It would be awwwwesome if you could leave a review.. I would seriously love you forever. It was quite challenging writing this chapter as although I find writing in Louis's perspective comes naturally to me I found it hard to incorporate Eleanor into it but obviously she is relevant to the story I'm telling right now. hopefully if you guys would like me to continue I will get to the main OTP - larry soon J

-Gemma xx


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

We used the back entrance to escape the mob of fans and paparazzi outside the front of the hotel. Obviously we were still detected and were going to be followed to our destination. There was no point in this escapade unless there was pictures and sightings to prove it happened. I sat in the back seat of the car still holding Eleanor's hand.. I looked out of the window at the fans as they attempted to tap on the glass as we drove away. Our fans were passionate to say the least.. I wondered how many of them would still be truly as devoted if they knew the secrets we entailed. I saw no wrong in loving Harry..it felt right, it made me feel alive and happy. Management said they could foresee the damage it would cause to the band.. And who am I to inflict that kind of strain on my friend's careers, careers that they have worked so hard for. I tried to force a smile from the little hope I had that one day me and Harry would be free.. But I was exhausted. I guess they were not getting 'happy smiley Louis and Eleanor' today - not that it would be genuine even if they did.

"you're quieter than usual" Eleanor spoke. I shrugged "just tired" I lied. Not that she would detect my dishonesty.. She squeezed my hand,, I suppose as a comforting gesture. I turned my head and looked at her.. Her shades hiding any sympathy she might have been briefly expressing.. I let out a small half smile then turned back to look out of the window. I imagined I was back in Doncaster..window down..the cool English breeze on my face as I drove to meet my mates for a friendly footie match. Harry next to me in the passenger seat singing along to whatever song was playing on the radio.. Sneaking glimpse's at me in-between verses.. I smiled at my daydream. Shame there were no cameras to catch this genuine emotion today.

The car came to standstill, I couldn't see many people about as Paul opened the car door, he had travelled in a vehicle behind us. "thanks mate" I said as we started moving immediately to the mall. I walked quicker than Eleanor.. She was slightly behind me.. Paul in front as well as more security at the back of us. I pondered on why Eleanor chose to wear such high shoes when we were just "casually" going shopping.. She was far from the type of girl I've actually dated in the past. Whenever I've been asked to describe my ideal girl in interviews.. I wonder if fans had actually made a comparison between Eleanor and the qualities I've said I Like and found it laughably inaccurate.

As we reached the mall entrance the paps and some fans had already beat us to it, I could hear the clicking of the cameras already "show time" I thought as I pulled Eleanor closer to me. "Louis!… Eleanor!" people shouted.. I assumed it was fans but I didn't make eye contact.. I wanted to wave.. At least acknowledging their existence, to show I am thankful for their support, but I am not able to be that Louis today. I put my head down.. Walking quickly into the mall.

We strolled around our first chosen store.. I wasn't really looking at much with the actual consideration of buying.. Today's purpose after all was to be Eleanor's boyfriend. "that's nice" she spoke quietly.. Still holding my hand she picked up a jacket of some sort with the other.. I smiled.. Playing my part.. "it would look good on you babe". We walked over to the counter to pay.. Fans and paps were in the store filming, taking pics and shouting remarks that I mostly tuned out. "did you hear that?" Eleanor asked me, "hear what?" I replied. "someone just shouted 'beard'" she looked hurt.. Oh the irony of her acting upset about being called something she actually is was bizarre but I played along.. "just ignore it" I said leaning into her and wrapping my arms around her waist.

Some stores in the mall offered to shut for twenty minutes whist we shopped inside to avoid "the mob" of people following us. Eleanor seemed elated at the freedom of having a store to browse exclusively although I found it abit unnecessary it was nice to at least relax a little where I knew no photos could be took. I pulled my shades up onto my head, my phone had vibrated in my pocket earlier and I hadn't had an appropriate opportunity to check it until now. I saw that it was a reply from the text I sent Harry.. I smiled as I read it..

"it sucked for me the moment you left this morning! L I'm stopping on the tour bus 2night, stay with me? Miss you too xx" I loved the tour bus.. It was mine and the boy's own world where we could be ourselves completely. I knew I still had to go to dinner with Eleanor but after that I would be free for a while.. Well free to be with Harry behind closed doors.

Paul approached me.. "Eleanor's ready to leave when you are" he informed me. "I was ready to leave before we arrived" I said sarcastically. Paul chuckled… understanding the situation he patted me on the back as if to say 'sorry you have been made to do this mate' I appreciated his support. He is a good friend and a great father figure to have around me and the boys, especially being so far away from home. I took comfort in knowing he always had our backs.

I held Eleanor's hand again as we got ready to exit the store.. I put my shades back on..exhaling deeply.. Mentally preparing myself for the next stage of the days events. At least I had tonight with Harry to look forward to.. And with that thought.. Hope and excitement had restored my faith in today not being a total waste.

*Authors note* - thanks so much to anyone reading this story, please leave me feedback as i would LOVE to hear your opinions. i'm super excited to get to the "larry" part of the story.

- Gemma


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